Today it is officially two weeks since NaNoWriMo started for 2011, and that means there are only two weeks left.
This time last week I had almost finished my first notebook, a feat in itself, as I had never written a whole notebook ( 27-28,000 is the most I've ever written) and this week I have got about 50 pages more to do. (this one is slightly bigger than the last one.)
The story has progressed majorly since last week, the characters have evolved and I have already been forced to write some very hard scenes.
It is one of the hardest things for me to do, in my writing, making my chcracters feel sad, breaking them down and seeing them feel so sad, so empty and lifeless because they've been hurt so much, but I know too that they need to go through these things to be who they will become later on.
I have openly said that I have never cried when watching a movie or reading a book.
Never have I bee moved to tears, once or twice almost. Almost. But they've never come forth from my eyes and poured down my face.
Writing and breaking my characters, who are ultimately a part of who I am and who I will be for the rest of my life.
I think I've been bought to tears at least four times, all on seperate occasions (and only when I am entirely alone) when writing about the sorrow that my people are feeling, when I write down how pained and lost they feel, how worthless and broked down.
It's like I'm breaking a part of myself down, to see the people I have created and given life, being hurt,
Becaue I want to protect them, I love them for who they are,
They aren't just words I've conjured up on a piece of paper.
They are real to me.
As real as real can be.
And I feel for them.