I look back at my blog fairly regularly, mostly back at that first year when I flourished, a 14 year old at the helm of this new experience, concept, finding inspiration abundant and so very enthusiastic. The first year is really the one I see most regularly, and if you've ever glanced at one of those first posts, you'd easily think I was so very cheerful.
Reading those old posts- all my old posts, really- I can build a picture of a girl who is a lot in love with words, very keen to try things and probably a little hyper.
And while the word I'm about to put forward certainly was not accurate to my life all of the time, hardly ever to my blog, because I did feel all the excitement- I did- I was also very sad. The years I've spent working on my blog have been some of the most painful and downright awful of my life. I've had awful moments, days and weeks and months where I've been miserable, but I've been lucky enough to have turning points, too. This blog has been one.
And... maybe this is not relevant to books, but the best books make you feel and all the feeling I've really shown here has been happiness, even when I've been annoyed about something or other in a review.
And I'm all about honesty. Talking about things and exposing yourself.
Honestly, I'm terrified of my pain being used to hurt me- have been for years- but, if I expose myself by choice and feel that that is right, I think the hurt, if it were to ever come, would be less.
If we all lived in the same town, I would invite you over to my house and we would eat glorious things and it would be splendid, but you, my dear, dear friends, are spread out across the globe. So I'll eat the cake and just say that when we exchange words in the little boxes of our blogs, it feels like we're together, and it's made me very happy, this connection, this book-begun friendship.
Words mean a lot to me, honesty means a lot to me, and so do you.